Never Loved
by SoraStripes
Summary: Another Sora Tai fic.....god only knows why i'm even putting it up...it was writen so long ago. (PG13 due to suicidal thoughts and attempts.)


You know the drill......I don't own nothing....no suing either....i've learned that that isn't cool...It's like the Don't play with matches kinda thing.  
  
Oh, and I wrote this sooooo long ago and god only knows why I'm putting it up.....  
  
  
Never Loved  
  
The Bright moonlight reflected off the calm water of the lake. The soft gentle breeze shuffled  
my hair into my tear stained face, but the loose stands of hair tickled the back of my neck and face.   
I didn't care.  
Why am I not loved? Doesn't he see that when I look at him my heart melts and that I am always  
calmed by the reassuring looks in his eyes? I've known him almost my whole life and he'll always be there   
for me, but I know he'll never love me. He wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. I though.  
The thought of killing myself had cross my mind once, but it's back stronger than before.  
"Sora?" He quietly asked as he sat down in the sand next to me. I looked away not wanting   
him to see my tear stained face. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing Tai," I lied. I was desperately trying to hold back fresh new tears. I could feel   
his body next to mine. He slowly put his hand on my shoulder and gripped it firmly.  
"Don't tell me that. I know when you are lying. I've known you long enough to know when   
something's wrong."   
I couldn't take it. I bolted up and sprinted away from him letting the tears flow freely  
down my face. I could see the darkness of the forest up ahead and decided to end my life there.  
I clumsily made my way back and took out the sharp knife I always carried in my back pocket.  
Why won't anyone understand what I've been through? I thought, you would never love   
me because I've never been good enough for anyone.  
I ran the piercing sharp blade fiercely down my thumb just to see a little blood. The moons  
light hit the sliver blade while the red substance dripped off the point onto the dirt. The cool  
wind behind me made a shiver dance up my spine. I had no reason to live.   
My mother and I were always beaten till we were bleeding by my drunken father till I   
was 10. A drunk driver killed him. "Ha," I laughed. Ironic a drunk man killed by another  
drunk man. My mother was never home to help me through anything. She never gave a fuck about   
what happened. And when she was home we always argued. Then I was always made fun of for being  
a Tomboy. But only Tai never cared about how I was. But he took my heart and I doubt he'll ever give  
it back.  
By this time my tears had soaked the front of my yellow tank top. I ran the blade slowly with  
pressure across my left wrist almost to the bone. It felt good to me, it even eased my aching heart.  
I decided to quit doing that and ran the blade down across the upper parts of my calves. I   
watched the dark red blood slide slowly down my legs and come to rest on the dirt beside my feet.  
No one cares, I thought. I brought the knife back up and sliced my right wrist, and all I could do   
was smile.  
The cool breeze caressed my face. I then realized I felt dizzy and light headed from the   
loss of blood. I leaned against a rough tree trunk and slowly sunk to the ground.  
Then I felt strong arms wrap around me. I looked up to see Tai's deep brown eyes which   
were piercing into me. He grabbed the blade from me and shoved it into his pocket.  
"Why are you doing this? Do you know what I would do if you you died?" he whispered  
harshly into my ear as he picked me up.   
"I doubt you would care, or anyone else for that matter. No one loves me so just let me die,"  
I pleaded sobbing into his shirt. I could hear muffled voices in the distance, which indicated that   
that was where every one else was at.   
I the noticed he had stopped and I made the mistake of looking up at his eyes. They showed  
nothing but sadness and betrayal. My heart burned because I made him look like this.  
"Why do you say that Sora? We all care about you," his eyes were tearing up now, "I would  
miss you the most. I would go insane without you."  
I looked at Tai stunned. No one had ever cared that much. I cried even harder into his shirt because   
I realized what I had just done to his heart.   
"Just hang on 'till we get to camp ok?" Tai quietly pleaded.  
"Ok," was all I could choke up as I slowly drifted off.   
  
The Next Morning  
I slowly came to. But my head was pounding heavily against my temples. My eyes slowly focused on my surroundings. Kari and TK were across from me talking quietly about if the Tooth Fairy really existed. I smiled; I thought it was rather cute. The two innocent ones of the group were always the ones to brighten my day.   
Then I saw Matt and Mimi laughing and flirting way behind Kari and TK.  
But then I noticed that my head was being cradled on someone's lap. "Nice to see that you are awake." Tai softly whispered. I sat up realizing for the first time that my wrist and legs were bandaged up.  
"Why did you do it Sora? What made you want to kill yourself so badly?" Tai questioned, "You are a beautiful girl, with so many things to live for," he finished. He inched closer and hugged me, keeping me in his arms while I began to cry again.   
"I have lots of reasons, I just can't take it any more," I sniffed.   
"Last night, you said no one loved you, why?" Tai asked resting his head on top of mine. His hands were rubbing my back to try and sooth me.   
"Because no one does," I stated. Tai sighed silently. His warm breath ran down the side of my neck.  
"That's not true," he murmured, "I love you."   
My heart stopped.   
He continued, "I mean more than a friend too. I was just scared and didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship to."  
His words echoed in my mind, and I felt warm tears streaming down my face.  
"Now tell me, why did you do it?"   
"W-w-well, um," I stuttered, "It began when I was young. I was abused by my father, my mom was never there for me, and well, I never felt loved," I blushed crimson red and looked down, "then I found out I liked you a lot, but I was to shy to admit it and I was scared to be rejected."  
Tai cupped my chin with his hands and lifted my head to look directly into my eyes. He leaned in and pressed his soft lips onto mine, and I started to kiss him back. The kiss became much more deeper and passionate.  
We broke apart gasping for air moments later.   
"I love you Sora, that will never change," Tai breathlessly whispered, "I love your hair, your sparkling eyes, your caring personality. I'm happy I found you before you killed yourself."  
I stared at him when he said that. My mind spun in circles as I remembered what I had tried to do last night. The thought made me realize for the first time since I had woken up the excruciating pain in my wrists and calves. Tai noticed the look on my face and took me in his arms again.  
"Don't worry, Joe's here and he knows how to help, he stopped the bleeding last night," Tai mumbled,   
"But I want to help emotionally."  
I looked up into his eyes and saw that he meant it. He picked me up and held me close as we wondered away from camp towards the lake.   
  
  
  
This horribly sucks....lol oh well. Tell me what you think though.  



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